planning*

I am planning....
Planning something that I don't have to let him know.
Is a birthday party surprise.
What I want to do now?
A big surprise? A romantic surprise? or what else?
It drives me crazy.
I want to give a memorable birthday, it will be the first time I do it and maybe it is the last.
I bought a book, that is all of our memory..
Our first time meet and our first time together..
The part of life that we will cry or maybe not..
Let him know I am the most good gf that he never has..
Tell him to precious me as ever and forever..
To planning everything that he will never know.
No matter is the first or last, he will know, our love is last Forever...
So I am gonna planning again...
To give him a awesome birthday party..
Let's check it up~~

Park Saeng Zhu, Saranghae

Park Saeng Zhu ar Park Saeng Zhu, no mu no mu bo sip ta... saranghae...
Why can Hyun Joong you so handsome? Love you so much...
Hope someday I can see you in my real life,
Wish the day is nearest and nearest..

Wanna to go Korea study, so I do some research about HT course in Korea University..
I do not know how to see the exchange rate, convert Korean won into Malaysia Ringgit..
I am confused.
I am still not sure what I'm gonna to do now.
Found a job which is only RM200 per month of salary... because that is a relaxing job..
Working at home, doing typing, that's so free, isn't it?

I am still so sick.. my voice not recover yet..
I feel dizzy, but I watch PPS again, Playful Kiss..
Wish someday, Kim Hyun Joong will be my real Park Saeng Zhu.. and I'll be his Go Ha Ni..
That is so ridiculous.. I am laughing so freaking much and day dreaming too..
You can say I'm crazy, I admit it..
Because I am too crazy about PSZ... Saranghae..~~

my life^^

I had been stayed in Penang for few days, finally I get back to Kampar before yesterday.

Life goes well and nothing changed.

Friends are in stressful for their busy Diploma year and I am being still a ordinary person live in Kampar.

Life here is just eat, sleep and playing facebook, nothing special.

A life with colourful day with friends but sickness comes for me.

Sore throat, fever and flu are coming to me. what the heck is going on to myself.

On the way to clinic, I saw one of my senior, friend.

He came back for few days, luckily i met him up.

He picked Klien and I up to clinic and we had a breakfast before he's gone and Kline went to school.

His life is good in Genting Highland.

Back to school, I wish I could study at there again, graduate with my friends is my dream but can't achieve.

Lecturer told me that I still fail my paper, I felt upset but what to do.

My plan is to stay here and find a job then go to KDU.

Well, my mum allowed me.. but I have to study hard after this issue.

Friends are changed, some has fell in love, some of them are still same. 

Study makes them to try to avoid but stressful is over come them.

Give them the luck is the only way I can do.

I will leave and study with my new place.

I don't know whether I can meet the friends like them or not.

I told mum that if the time is right, I will leave Malaysia and study in Hillsong College..

Well, she agreed.

God gives everyone no matter he or she is my friend or not, they are still created by you, they are your son and daughter.

Give them energy and confidence to face their pressure in study and life. No matter how hard it is, God gives them strength to do the best and graduate in the time.

I always hope I can graduate with them but I know it is impossible for me to say that again.

In new place that I study, God, gives me to meet the person or friend at there like here.

Can talk, help each others, play together and crazy together.. how nice it is.

Although I am very anger and sad why can you give me failed in my paper, so hard for me to accept but,

you said time will see everything and today is my big day.. So do I know it.

Thanks God... You beside me always no matter I have something to worry or what..

Thanks God for listening, in your name we prayer, Amen

First day

Today is my first day in Sibu.
I am so happy to see my new youngest cousin, my church aunties, uncles, grandmum and bla bla.
Went out with my best friend in secondary school, Cindy Yeu
She is stills same, crazy! We has a lot of fun.. I just too happy to see her again.
We went out and her bf buy me a pizza for a lunch..it was delicious.

Night, I went to church, people there looked surprise to see me because I'm back to my mother-church..
That is a lovely church, a place i grew up with and a place make me feel I'm not alone.
Mummy went to choir and I joined the service..
Enjoy the rev. talk and learn more about God's lesson.

After that, we went to supper with mum's friends.
First time I truely ate Tom Yam in my life. It is spicy but its delicious..
I enjoyed the life in my hometown.. rather that stayed in Kampar with the people's black heart..
Miss Kampar friends.. Rith jun... hah..!! My boy friend, Klien Kam! haha!!
love them so do love my family..
Good night

Homw sweet home *love* and *sad*

I miss my family since I study in Perak.
I miss my family because they're important.
I know too much things and guess you never experience this.
Leave my family along to study is a very difficult in my life but it's precious.

Today I'm back.
I saw mummy is happy and she prepared a bowl of chicken soup to me.
Unfortunately, I am full because of the food in air-plane.
Mum felt disappointed and asked me sleep early.
I know mum is tired and not feeling well.
She request massage and " gua sha" to me.
I accepted, of course.

When I help her massage, she felt painful.
Her muscle is just deeply hurt and pain.
I feel upset, no one staying with her since all of her children are studying or working outside country.

She feels happy because we tried to study or working hard.
She knows it.
Even she never experience it.

She told me someone close with her said all of her children are useless, because we are stupid.
Don't know how to study why still wanna study outside country?
Now I tell You, you ain't to say that because we are stupid in study.
God created you, and your mouth is not to say others at their back.
Do you ever try this feeling before?
Do you kno what is the feeling when you hear someone close with you is saying this?
I guess you NEVER.

You never know as a children, who wants to be a stupid child and can't give a proud to the parents?
Who wants to be a useless people while people says you are useless?
No one wants, included you.
So please, I begging you.
Thinking before you talk at the back, thinking what is the same things if it is turning to you.

Every parents wants their children be a clever boy so are you.
When people said your children are so useless, get married early, do you think you are still proud of it?
I bet you are not!Because you know how shame if the people said it, I think you know what is the feeling.
My mum too, she feels sad and upset when people says her children are stupid.
If We Are stupid, We won't graduate in SPM, Won't study so hard in College and Won't Work hard, earn money in outside country.

I promise, I swear. I won't let my mum get hurt anymore.
I will let you know, God created people is not created their evil heart, as you are His son, you know it.
God created me, even I'm not a perfect student, but I am His perfect child as my mum does too.
My parents and my brother and sisters will be the most happiness family in this world and do so in Heaven.
God is looking, He knows everything.

the day

Today is the result released.
My result is expected, I failed.
I suppose to do remark but I don't know is the remark happened on me or not.

When I saw the result, expected is Basic Kitchen.
I thought it was real, and it came true.
I have to leave here if it is possible can't do remark.
I will still stay here, until the result review said I still can goes on..

My life here is already ended.
I don't want, this is not the ended I want.
I want a graduation, is wear a graduate cloth and the hat,
stand on the stage, my parents give me the flower.
Lecturer congrat me and my friends hug together with me.

Throw the hat together and shout everything is ended here.
But it is not come true.
I failed it. I need to remark.
I don't want everything stop here.
I believe in faith.
I believe God helps me..
So I pray.

Thanks God I failed my subject so I will try my best to study hard and graduate successfully.
I try not harder in my exam, but I try harder in my after roll exam.
No matter it is so hard, but I still remember what is going on myself.
Learn this lesson, because I don't want give up and destroy myself.
I have friend here, what's I realised.
I have a boy friend here, whom is a good guy to me, I know that.
I have some good lecturer here, because they try to help me, I noticed it.
God, Please let me pass the subject..
Let my continue my study no matter it is how harder, how evil like others,
I try not to be a person who is not believe in you, not to be a hardworking.
thank you to listening my prayer.
In Jesus name, I pray, Amen!

one day left

Early in the morning, I am worried.
Wind blow through from me, it is cold.
Look at outside from the window, the clouds grey.
My mood is just turn to grey and other colour.

I don't know what will happen, since I know maybe I will fail.
I believe this is a planed from God and I just follow.
Believe in him is better than I think about it a lot and make me into trouble.
Everything He makes, has His plan.

I love him, because we are meant to be together 11months and 22 days.
He is a good guy that I never met, and he protected me every single time.
We never argue, we can talk anything we want.
We tell everything to each others, but sometimes not,because we believe each others.
He try to tell me, I can't be sad because I still have a little possibility to pass my courses.
He console me, while I am crying.
Thanks God, You prepared him to me.

I love my friends, even though we have a lot of bad memories.
When I am facing the trouble, you guys always console and be with me.
I miss the time we hung out together. I know this will be continue until we graduate.
It seems like I graduate first, but maybe I'll not.
Maybe we will graduate together.

I miss the first time you celebrated birthday with me, 10 xiang si dou, a surprise fire flower, a card you promise we will celebrated together every year.
I miss the first time we went to Taiping trip. That's the first time we met each others and we talked to each others.
We started on the time, in the bus, we talked..
After the night, we came out for supper.
We are same class.
Miss the day we moved in the new hostel.
We cleaned the house together, we fight with each others.
that's so funny, I won't forget.

Sometimes, wrote the memories at here, the feeling is awesome.
Let's wait for together.
Fight with destiny, I believe the destiny will lost.
If I really failed, guys, must graduate successfully..
I am watching you guys.
If I pass, let's graduate together.
No more gaming in diploma,no more playing in diploma.
This is so much important and difficult in our Diploma life.


MAY GOD BLESS ME & EVERYONE I CARE.

updating blog

It is really a long time that I didn't update my blog.
Finished the three weeks holiday, my life as usual, nothing much fun but enjoyable.
The new semester is starting, the result is released on Wednesday, I feel like not too nervous but worry about the proceed to diploma or not.

Life still need to goes on, but nothing special in the life.
Thinking every single time, but worry only a single way.
I am nothing but that is not meaning that I am nobody.
I think I am nobody but that is not meaning I am nothing.
So, what do you think I am?

I see my ex-friend but I thought she is leaving here and no way to see her anymore.
She stayed and with her somebody, and yeah! Somebody whom is very Flower like another says.
So do I think he is, but no point. The guy is handsome and the girl is pretty, they must used to be together.
But hell, they are not so good as people think. It is just a action to feel like a real.

Me, myself, can be arranged by time.
Time passed, Me, myself changed.
I can't change the time because the time never stop unless it is the end of the world.
I love the way you lie, sorry I'm not. I hate the way you lie because I hate liar.
This is me, and yeah! It is. I change not because of the people that I admire or I love.
I change because I believe I can live in a better life if I change.
Change, I never mentioned it is a good changing or bad. Either one.

Weather is cold, but I still hope that is a winter.
Snow is pure white, and it looks beautiful and happy.
Snow man is only a man that people imagine, so do I imagine too.
Santa Claus is real, he live in a place where is near Finland country.
Firstly, I don't believe but since i saw the picture and she went before, I believed.
I love Christmas, but not in here, is in heaven.
Christmas is the day Jesus Christ born, is a day people shout to the lord and sing the song to praise the Son born.

I am tired and I've to stop.
I wanna sleeping so it is just a nap.
wake up in the evening, I feel like energetic.
I love to sing, so please don't stop me.
I love dance, so please just shut up and watch me dance.
I love learning, so please don't tell me that is what so bad.
I wanna say Good bye, because I really want to bye bye
so BYE BYE

I say (2)

我说啊， 人与人之间要怎样沟通才可以？
你说，人缘好，朋友交很多， 那被人讲的几率不就更高？
我说啊， 朋友没必要这么多， 这里讯息来， 那里电话又响，不是很烦？
你说， 情侣之间要坦白， 那么不坦白就表示不信任对方了吗？
我说啊， 情侣之间要坦白，但并没说不坦白就不信任对方， 只是对方会觉得不被信任罢了。
你说，买名牌货的就一定是有钱人。
我说啊， 放屁。。！ 难道不买名牌货的人就不是有钱人了。。？ 这也太现实了吧。。？！
你说， 夜店不是人去的。
我说啊， 你最好不要让我看到你去夜店。。 要是被我看到， 你一定不是人。。
你说， 菜市场是安可和安提去的， 年轻人没必要去。
我说啊， 你也太好命了吧， 要是这样， 那你最好不要帮你老娘买菜啊。。不然你就是妇女咯。。
你说， 王八蛋这三个字眼好难听。。 最好别说。。
我说啊， 你这个王八蛋的， 你说最好别说， 那你还用这三个字骂你老弟啊。。
你说， 要孝顺父母。。 这样才是好孩子。。
我说啊， 你最好是好孩子， 孝顺一下自己的父母， 不要老是骂他们， 还不理他们。
你说，我说够了。
我说啊， 这是跟你学的。。。谁叫你那么爱讲人。。。 送你两个字。。 无聊！！

心情 ^^

今天睡醒后， 脑子很奇怪的出现了很多东西，
我开始觉得自己原来没有什么朋友， 连谈心的朋友也找不到，
突然觉得很难过， 很可悲，
原本就很孤僻的自己， 每次都要做出很开心的样子， 觉得好累。。。
从以前到现在， 我一直都很想要找一个很好的聆听者来与我分担，
但是从来没遇到， 直到现在， 我很想知道， 为什么上帝不给我在这世界找到一个知己呢？

为什么有的人可以交到这么多的好朋友， 人缘可以这么好？
说实在的， 我很羡慕那些人。。 如果自己有好朋友的话， 人生就可以很开心， 因为有人会陪你讲话。
而我， 觉得很孤僻， 虽然认识很多朋友， 但是一切只不过是暂时的。。
我无聊的时候，很希望有人陪我聊天，但是个个都很忙。。 我也不懂自己可以干什么。。

在我中三的时候，妈妈给我买了个牛的玩偶，
难过时， 我会跟它说话，感觉很怪， 很像有点精神病的感觉，
但是， 我看到它， 就好像妈妈一直陪着我， 好像上帝送给我的一个礼物。。
后来，渐渐的觉得， 上帝时时刻刻都在听我说话， 也很渴望我会跟他说话， 透过祷告。。
他是一个很好的朋友， 最知心的朋友。。 没有人能比得上他。。难过，无聊的时候， 找上帝聊天，自己也感到高兴。。

但是，我还是很希望， 在这个地方， 还是可以找到很好的朋友和伴侣。。。 我相信，最好的永远都会在最后的时候出现。。。。

happy easter day

Easter day is a special day for christian, Jesus from the dead.

For me, this is a very special day because I can praise the God, but unfortunely, I didn't go.
When I woke up in this morning, I called uncle who is drive us to church. He said he doesn't know today service change to early in the morning, so there is no van to fetch me and uncle said the van is droven by someone else, I saw the time is 7:05a.m so I didn't go.

In my childhood, every easter day, I must go to church, to have a choir, sing to praise God, celebrate by dance and short drama. When I came out to study, everything is changed. I don't know why it is become like this. I know this is the lesson, always put Faith as the first place. Pray to God, is the thing I do everyday. Now I want to pray, God please forgive me. HE hears me. what should I do after prayer, I regret. This is no more next time to do so. Pray for my friends, even they are not the son of God, but we love you.. and He loves you too... Thanks GOD. Always give thanks, Always Pray, this is what we need to do.. ^^
Happy Easter Day

KL trip

31/3
6:30a.m   we started get into the bus, I slept in the bus
x:xxa.m    we reached our friend's own restaurant to had a breakfast that is RM3

I can't remember what time we reached KL, but I know, I had a sweet dream in the bus. That is a 3 stars hotel ( the front office manager told me), but it is good, simple and clean. The empoyees have a good service to us. After the briefing, we had lunch in the hotel.. Oh my god! The food is kinda awesome and tasty.

Afternoon, we went to time square, people says that is a boring shopping mall, but I think that is still okay, many things can buy, but I didn't buy anything even I saw the things I like. We walked around 4 pm something, we bought the movie ticket, before the movie started, we went to restaurant to had our dinner. Th movie was started at 6:10p.m but I was late because I was waiting for my sister, she came and met me. I bought a biscuit and brought a treatment for her, because she wants.

I am happy to see my sister have change so much better, she wore a dress and a hig heel shoes with a purple bag, wow, she looks pretty. In my mind, if she can make up at least her eyes, or lips, maybe she is a perfect in cantonese we called liang lui.. hehe... We didn't have dinner together, but i'm happy to her. ehehe

Entered the cinema, the movie was started a bit part, the movie is a cartoon " how to train your dragon", that is a cute and nice movie.. I like the dragon very much. the dragon very cute and good.. hehe..

We went to shopping, I saw a Mr.Bean Bear at the store, i know that is Ben's favourite, so I told him, then bought it... Obviously, he was happy that day, because a shadow is always together with a human. Human is happy too and took much photos with the shadow. I know how happy the shadow is.

At night, we back to our hotel at 9:xxp.m something. We damn crazy, everyone  ( our gang's friends) went to giant bought some porridge, merry brown, noodles, orange juice and so on. I felt tired and sleepy. I slept at 11:30p.m. After eating my supper, I full, so back to my room. I slept well till next morning.

We went to beryl chocolate factory, wow.. that's awesome too. Finally, I know how the chocolate make. it is so harder to make a chocolate to for those who is no skill. lolz.. and the bread factory... hehe.. we had free bread to one week breakfast.. nana..^^

7p.m 1/4, We reached kampar, that is our awesome trip and to know more each others.. Thanks God bring us back safety... Always thanks Always Pray. ^^

I say (1)

I say,
How can a human live in this world without love?
What is the most important between Love and Family?
Why should we must have a friend?
why?

I say,
Love is sushi,
Family is ajinamoto,
Friend is wasabi.

I say,
boy need love,
girl need love,
become a couple.

I say,
You need family,
He need family,
They need family.

I say,
saksi need friend, cola
cola need friend, 7 up
7 up need friend, orange juice.

I say,
I am boring,
I am crazy,
I am lonely.

Do you believe~~~~

>~< K.O

the weekends^^

Weekends, I was going to Teluk Intan for few days, it was great but thais is a tiring day for me,
My friend was picked me up to shopping and I bought lots of things even that is a small place without any shopping mall, and the life is boring there.

But, people is enjoyed their life with food, and shopping in the super market, this is what i observed.
You can imagine, If you are living in a small place and there is no shopping mall, what should you do?
When I reached there, i was thinking, if i staying there, I must be very crazy because that is not the life that I want.

The food is not bad, delicious, but the weather is crazy.. sometimes raining, sometimes hot~
Friday i went there and just now i came back.  I miss the food at there and I would like to visit other places someday If I can go~

Hello~

The first time, I have a blog in blogger spot~
The second time, I would like to update my blog and write something~
The third time, my page will have a lot of words~
The fourth time, I dont know what I suppose to write anymore~

Hope it won't be happening~~

Is this a interest while everyone is writing blogger?
Ummm, I don't know, because I never try to write a blog~

Let me to start the blog after today, Yeah~